Eight great new brews to try at City Weekly’s Utah Beer Festival this Saturday:
8. Chaffetz Creamed Ale: A lightweight brew that goes down the Hatch easily.
7. Polygamy Pilsner: A multi-flavored beer secretly available in certain Sandy neighborhoods.
6. Bro-stache Brau: A flavorless lager favored by hipsters and undercover cops (available in tallboy cans only).
5. Kardashian Saison: A stocky ale that does absolutely nothing but give you a big ass.
4. Huntsman IPA: A medium-bodied offering that won’t be available again until 2016.
3. Waddoups Witbier: A nonalcoholic ale with clouded appearance and judgment.
2. Déja vu Ocho Bock: An extra-fermented dark beer that tastes suspiciously like lists that have been published before.
1. Birra Rizzi: An exasperated Italian-style lager that’s probably reconsidering Utah Beer Fest 2012.