5 Spot 

Piper Down’s Dave Morris on St. Paddy’s

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Dave Morris, proprietor of Salt Lake City’s Irish/Scottish Piper Down Pub (1492 S. State), has a wee bit of Irish in him (“The Irish weren’t really particular who they had sex with when they came to this country,” Morris wrote in an e-mail) and gives us five week-early opinions about St. Patrick’s Day, parades, bad horror movies and more.

nn

It’s off a little every time it comes around, but how do you feel about Salt Lake’s St. Patrick’s Day parade being held a whole week before the actual date this year?

nn

Why not? I think I’ve seen fireworks on the 2nd, 3rd and 5th of July here.

nn

The Piper Down Pub is Irish/Scottish-themed. Why is it that the Irish always seem to get so much more attention than the Scottish?

nn

It’s because the Irish are world-renowned for their cuisine.

nn

St. Patrick’s Day, along with New Year’s Eve and Pioneer Day, is one of those drinking holidays that bartenders and waitresses refer to as “amateur night.” When do the real professionals go out and get their drink on?

nn

Come to Piper Down on the 364 other days of the year and I’ll show you some pros. (Shameless plug'I had to put it somewhere.)

nn

Which is the better sequel in the Leprechaun film ouvre: The more science-fiction-based Leprechaun 4: In Space or the hip-hop and street-flavored Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun in tha Hood?

nn

Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun in tha Hood, because it speaks to the urban plight and extreme economic disparity endured by the Irish who originally immigrated to this country.

nn

As a good Scotsman/Irishman/whatever you are, answer this: What are you wearing underneath your kilt?

nn

Usually your wife’s lipstick!

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