8. The technical 10th anniversary was 2016, but the author was “on vacation” … in a court-
mandated “vacation facility.”
7. The Ocho has outlasted five editors, two publishers and One Direction (sorry, Directioners).
6. Despite its title, the column has never been embraced by the Spanish community ... or noticed.
5. The Ocho is a Blue Ribbon award-winner—as well as “Good Job!” “Pretty Princess” and several other ribbons purchased at Dollar Tree.
4. Cans of short-lived 2002 signature beer OchoBräu (“Eight Times the Alcohol!”) now fetch up to $2 on eBay.
3. The Ocho is most commonly placed on refrigerators between Dilbert cartoons and suicide-note drafts.
2. Rumors that The Ocho is crafted by a secret team of writers are false. It would be waaay better.
1. The Ocho is actually a deep-cover government black-ops experiment in neuro-linguistic programming and … [REDACTED]