Hockey appreciation in Utah is a rare thing. Don't believe me? Here's a statistic for you: As of the date and time I'm writing this, the Utah Grizzlies are #1 in our division, and one of the best in the Western Conference for the ECHL.
The University of Utah has a long history of premature celebrations, but none of them have then been animated to show players drinking Champagne on the field, dancing with bikini-clad ladies and riding horse-sized ducks. But thanks to Taiwanese Animators, the geniuses behind absurd CGI renditions of national news stories, we now have this important piece of Utah history immortalized for future generations.
Trailblazers guard and former Weber State Wildcat, Damian Lillard is now featured in a rap video alongside Portland-based synth-pop group Hustle and Drone. Which is great because now the 2012 NBA Rookie of the Year can be added to the never-ending list of ballers-turned-rappers.
Trey Burke, Utah Jazz point guard and guy who got sued for making fun of people on Instagram, retired from Twitter Monday morning in a fiery blaze after pictures of his tallywhacker were leaked on the internet, which was great timing considering that today was Utah Jazz media day. Some Twitter users initially believed that Trey Burke was trending because of a possible trade, but it turns out it was just because of his penis ... which he took multiple pictures of ... for some terrible reason.
In the ongoing saga of celebrities acting like complete dingleberries, Utah Jazz guard Trey Burke, rapper Wacka Flocka Flame, and Gold Bond spokesman Shaquille O'Neal are now being sued for defamation on the grounds of making fun of a guy with a genetic disorder. The suit, issued by Warren, Mich., resident Jahmel Binion, is in response to an Instagram post from April that showed Burke mocking the 23-year-old, who has a disorder called hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, a condition that results in a reduced ability to sweat, abnormal hair growth and missing teeth.
I’m late and lost, and Liberty Park is bigger than I remember. Somewhere near an eagle statue, a bunch of dudes in snapbacks on bikes are waiting for me. They're called FOAD, a fixed-gear bicycle gang that describes itself as “a crew of homies coming out of Salt Lake City, Utah.” They don't have an “aim or agenda” — they just want to have fun and “fuck shit up.” I decided after hearing lingering whispers of FOAD from my fixie-riding friends that I should meet up with them and find out exactly how hard they fuck shit up.
The Jazz are honoring former coach Jerry Sloan tonight with a banner-hanging ceremony, and even the leader of the free world is getting in on the action.--- The Jazz Facebook account posted a photo of an apparently handwritten card from President (and notorious Bulls fan) Barack Obama to Sloan next to a green John Deere hat (no indication if that was a gift from Obama or simply a photo prop).
After a week of nonstop trash talk and fake hot-tub baptisms, Saturday's rivalry matchup between BYU and the University of Utah will undoubtedly fulfill all expectations for a game appropriately nicknamed the "Holy War." But, fans of either school should be able to agree that this World War II telegram from a BYU-quarterback-turned-Navy-yeoman is pretty awesome.--- Click on the image to enlarge.