Sports

Monday, September 29, 2014

Trey Burke's penis almost ruined Utah Jazz media day

Trey Burke, Utah Jazz point guard and guy who got sued for making fun of people on Instagram, retired from Twitter Monday morning in a fiery blaze after pictures of his tallywhacker were leaked on the internet, which was great timing considering that today was Utah Jazz media day.  Some Twitter users initially believed that Trey Burke was trending because of a possible trade, but it turns out it was just because of his penis ... which he took multiple pictures of ... for some terrible reason.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Utah Jazz Guard Trey Burke is being sued for defamation

In the ongoing saga of celebrities acting like complete dingleberries, Utah Jazz guard Trey Burke, rapper Wacka Flocka Flame, and Gold Bond spokesman Shaquille O'Neal are now being sued for defamation on the grounds of making fun of a guy with a genetic disorder. The suit, issued by Warren, Mich., resident Jahmel Binion, is in response to an Instagram post from April that showed Burke mocking the 23-year-old, who has a disorder called hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, a condition that results in a reduced ability to sweat, abnormal hair growth and missing teeth.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

SLC's fixie bike gang is more extreme than you

I’m late and lost, and Liberty Park is bigger than I remember. Somewhere near an eagle statue, a bunch of dudes in snapbacks on bikes are waiting for me. They're called FOAD, a fixed-gear bicycle gang that describes itself as “a crew of homies coming out of Salt Lake City, Utah.” They don't have an “aim or agenda” — they just want to have fun and “fuck shit up.” I decided after hearing lingering whispers of FOAD from my fixie-riding friends that  I should meet up with them and find out exactly how hard they fuck shit up. 

Thursday, May 1, 2014

This Week In NBA Douchebaggery: Trey Burke Mocks A Disabled Man

Apparently, soon-to-be former Los Angeles Clippers owner David Sterling is no longer the most recent NBA affiliate to "unwittingly" act like a dumb turd.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Obama thanks ex-Jazz coach Sloan for service; Utahns outraged

The Jazz are honoring former coach Jerry Sloan tonight with a banner-hanging ceremony, and even the leader of the free world is getting in on the action.--- The Jazz Facebook account posted a photo of an apparently handwritten card from President (and notorious Bulls fan) Barack Obama to Sloan next to a green John Deere hat (no indication if that was a gift from Obama or simply a photo prop).

Friday, September 20, 2013

1942 Telegram from BYU Soldier: Beating Utah Would Trump WWII

After a week of nonstop trash talk and fake hot-tub baptisms, Saturday's rivalry matchup between BYU and the University of Utah will undoubtedly fulfill all expectations for a game appropriately nicknamed the "Holy War." But, fans of either school should be able to agree that this World War II telegram from a BYU-quarterback-turned-Navy-yeoman is pretty awesome.--- Click on the image to enlarge.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Utah Blaze WR Performs Pretty Decent Touchdown Celebration

Though the Utah Blaze's 2013 season will probably go down as one of the worst in recent memory, at least wide receiver LaVaughn Macon capped it off with this WWE-inspired touchdown routine.---

Monday, May 27, 2013

Roller Derby: JCRD Takes Bakersfield 252-159

Saturday, May 25: Ogden’s Junction City Roller Dolls beat the Bakersfield Diamond Divas 252-159 at O-Town’s Golden Spike Arena over Memorial Day weekend.

Monday, April 15, 2013

WWE: The "Universe" Rebellion

For nearly the past five years, fans of World Wrestling Entertainment have been branded as the marketing-cliched tagline “WWE Universe,” with the idea attached that the company listens to the fans because the “universe makes the superstars.” --- Like any company looking to be appealing to its fanbase, it will lie and manipulate its message to the masses to bring in a buck. However, this past Monday night was the first time those very fans actually made it mean something, and could possibly take it away from the very company that spawned it.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Utah Roller Derby 2013

[Updated June 3] Your so-called local “sports media” is unaware that Utah women’s flat-track roller derby is has entered its ninth(!) year of existence behind the Zion Curtain.

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