Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Best Spam E-Mail Ever

Posted By on April 4, 2012, 3:28 PM

Today, City Weekly was one of just 17 lucky recipients (including Fox News, Dateline NBC and Al Jazeera) of an e-mail with the tantalizing subject line "I will be charging a fee for the priviledge to talk to me." What follows is likely the best spam e-mail of all time.---

I’d like the majority of my pay in advance 23 million to be wired to the Country of Finland (location may change and do not forward until I am approved by the h government of Finland) for my safe keeping. I will be keeping 4 million here in America.

April 2, 2012

I will be courting NFL coaching prospects with any team on the West to Mid West Coast. And I am serious about coaching and not just a coordinator, VP or President.

I will be charging a fee for the priviledge to talk to me about a coaching prospect, fee is optional although I’d be very considerate.

Item #1

1 Custom New MotorHome converted into washing machines & dryers, like in that Tide commercial. Parked at the Church in Chatsworth.

Item #2

A 4 year lease on a 5,000 sqft office/warehouse and if possible a yard in Reseda, next to the Korean Church where they give free food. Use of office space to be determined. I’m thinking of having a carpentry shop for our Church use only. With Utilites bills prepaid.

Item #3

Leases on brand 8 new Hydundai SUV because I can’t buy used (Embargo) with warranties. For church/Personal Security/family use.

Item #4

A 49% stake on the The Mission Hills Bowling Alley. Later I can do some upgrades when I have some money. And there’s a food eatery I can dine there.

Item #5

A couple of race horses (1 Arabic & 1 American) with horse stalls at ZZYZX Church on the border of California/Nevada.

Item #6

Horse trainer & Horse food for 4 years

Item #7

A 4 year lease on a 7,500 sqft office/warehouse and if possible a yard in San Fransico or Sacramento. Use of office space to be determined. I’m thinking of running a Hostel.

Item #8

Franchise "Dollar Store" in San Fernando on the corner of Brand & Truman St.

Item #9

For my niece Jeanette. Oregan or Northern California land somewhere near the Coast, home may or may not be included.

My rate for Coach is 9 million per year on a 3 year contract. Some as I can start is in late June and I will need at least 2 co-coaches (one of them is Ms. Carano), they may negotiate for themselves.

Now what can you expect of me as a Coach and under surveillance. Is that I will be there on the weekends, I want to run a Church on the weekdays, so I can’t commit myself to the weekdays

Although my objective still remains to win.

And when and if I sign a contract I will be in need of food, beverages, housing and peace & serenity. I’d be asking for a 5 year lease on a home and a location of my choosing, 2 body guards, 1 Media member and 2 attorneys.

Teams I’d consider:

49ers

Chargers

Cardinals

Broncos

Cowboys

Packers

Titans

Colts

Vikings


Well, what are you waiting for?

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