Friday, March 11, 2011

The Fairy Tale of the Tape: BEASTLY vs. RED RIDING HOOD

Posted By on March 11, 2011, 11:19 AM

Two weeks, two movies based on fairy tales. How do they stack up in key points of comparison? ---

Source Material Precursors
Beastly : Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and Cocteau’s La Belle et La Bete
Red Riding Hood : Hoodwinked
Advantage: Red Riding Hood (not as much baggage)

Male Eye Candy
Beastly : Alex Pettyfer, but he’s covered up in gross-out makeup for half of the movie.
Red Riding Hood : Shiloh Fernandez and Max Irons.
Advantage: Red Riding Hood

Female Eye Candy
Beastly : Vanessa Hudgens, glamming down as a hipster with a heart of gold.
Red Riding Hood : Amanda Seyfried in a bodice.
Advantage: Red Riding Hood

Comic-Relief Guest Star
Beastly : Neil Patrick Harris as a wise-cracking blind tutor.
Red Riding Hood : Gary Oldman as a werewolf killer.
Advantage: Beastly, since apparently Oldman didn’t get the memo that he should have been the comic relief.

Mysterious, Possibly Magical Female Presence
Beastly : Mary-Kate Olsen as a Goth-chick teen witch.
Red Riding Hood : Julie Christie as a loner grandmother.
Advantage: Beastly, since Olsen actually over-acts less than the Oscar-winning Christie.

Supernatural Transformation
Beastly : Blurry camera tricks, and the studly guy is suddenly a freak.
Red Riding Hood : Big wolf appears; big wolf goes away.
Advantage: Beastly, since a werewolf movie without a transformation sequence is just weak tea.

Director’s Sundance Pedigree
Beastly : Daniel Barnz directed Phoebe in Wonderland
Red Riding Hood : Catherine Hardwicke directed thirteen.
Advantage: Beastly, since Phoebe actually indicated the presence of some skills.

Moral of the Story
Beastly : Beauty is transitory, so it pays not to be an a-hole about it.
Red Riding Hood : Be suspicious of everyone, stabbing people arbitrarily if necessary.
Advantage: Red Riding Hood, because that’s just good common-sense advice.

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