Monday, June 7, 2010

I, For One, Welcome Our New Flatulent, Fire-breathing Overlords

Posted By on June 7, 2010, 4:43 PM

Weird chemical activity on the surface of Titan may be evidence of exotic forms of life on Saturn's satellite. ---Possible life forms are politely described as "exotic" when they're employed as strippers, or else when their metabolism is based on weird elements and/or compounds.

In this case, the hypothetical life forms breathe hydrogen and expel methane. In this last respect, the beasties are not so different from humans and cows, except their flatulence is constant rather than intermittent. In other words, they wouldn't make good dinner guests -- but considering that the creatures' diet is based on acetylene, planning the menu would be just ghastly, anyway.

As any frat boy can tell you, methane (at least in the presence of oxygen) burns with a nice, blue flame. So, putting it all together, the obvious explanation is that dragons live on Titan. Flatulent stripper dragons. Science marches on!

[Pictured: An artist's rendition of Strawberry Reservoir a liquid-ethane lake on the surface of Titan]

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