Thursday, October 15, 2009

Marriage Is Between a (Dead) Man and an (Imaginary) Woman

Posted By on October 15, 2009, 3:36 AM

I honestly don't  bother myself about the way Mormons choose to conduct their private affairs -- unlike some people, I'd certainly never try to run a ballot amendment against it -- but can we now at least put an end the farcical idea that the LDS Church stands for "traditional marriage"? 

There's nothing "traditional" about ritually joining a dead, celibate priest and his dead imaginary girlfriend in the Holy Bonds of Matrimony -- not that there's anything wrong with that. Do as you like as long as you're not hurting anybody, is my motto. It's just not traditional is all I'm sayin'.  ---

Other people who get all hot under the collar about the sanctity of this and the definition of that probably have more to say about the LDS practice of posthumous proxy baptism and sealing. But not me. It may be a little curious, and it's not really my thing, but live and let live, is my motto -- my other motto. (Life's good when you've got lots of mottoes.) 

This latest curiosity is brought to us by the unsinkable Helen Radkey, who, a few months ago, dropped into my hands documentation regarding the baptism of the late Sen. Ted Kennedy before he was cold in his grave. (A couple years ago, she even gave me records of a plan to baptize and seal Mickey and Minnie Mouse. It seems a diverse crowd of people -- including Disney fans -- have the authority to enter names into the system.) So, yes. The practice, which many regard as a sacred part of their religion, may seem a little incomprehensible.

But me? Who am I to judge? After all, my own relationship with Dave is not exactly what you'd call traditional. It's a little easier to understand, of course -- just two unconventional gentlemen living in a house full of cats and books and musical instruments. Life would be more convenient in many ways, and it would be easier to plan for the future, if there were some legal recognition of our de facto marriage. 

But, of course, some people think we're a little too untraditional to have access to the legal recognition opposite-sex couples enjoy as a matter of course. 

Maybe it would help if we tried to shack up with a dead priest.  

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